Checking off days on a calendar is something we do in advance of an upcoming event. It may serve to remind us of the amount of time we have to prepare, like losing 10 pounds before the class reunion. It may build excitement and anticipation for something we’re looking forward to, like a trip to an exciting new place or spending a holiday with loved ones.
But there is another use of marking off the days on a calendar.
Comedian Jerry Seinfeld adopted the practice as a reminder to practice being funny. He said in an interview that when he was starting out as a young comic, he put up a big wall calendar. Every day that he spent time writing jokes, he would mark that date with a big red X. His goal was not to break the chain of red X’s.
As a person living with metastatic breast cancer, I have adopted the calendar marking tactic in yet another way—as a reminder to reflect back on that day.
Marking the days has been a highly effective way to remind myself that my time is not infinite. That I need to make something of each one and be grateful for that precious, additional time that is never guaranteed.
This exercise may be difficult for some people dealing with stage 4 cancer, and in some cases, it may be wholly inappropriate, At some point, it’s enough to simply be—it’s all you can do to focus every waking, lucid moment on loved ones, making whatever amends you can make, gaining happiness from whatever simple pleasures you have available to you, preparing yourself in any way that brings closure and peace.
In my case, undergoing treatment for metastatic breast cancer and keeping cancer at bay for over five years now, marking my calendar daily is a peaceful, meditative practice. Even on days where I’ve wasted time or did something regretful, I reassure myself it’s okay. I can and will do better tomorrow. This practice allows me to get a good night of restorative sleep.
I’m a firm believer in moderation in all things, and that includes scheduling our time. Many people have busy, stressful schedules with very limited time to reflect and consider their priorities and life experiences. Working mothers, for sure. Caregivers to people with cancer and other illnesses, absolutely. We can all benefit from some time to relax and recharge by giving our body and mind a break, if only for a few minutes.
As for wasting time versus spending time wisely and meaningfully, that is a very personal choice. For me, the daily calendar checkmark has helped me eliminate activities that I don’t value, time spent that doesn’t bring a sense of accomplishment or spark joy. In fact, upon reflection, the only emotions sparked by things like excessive binge watching or infinite scrolling are sadness and regret.
As someone wise once said, how we spend our days is how we spend our lives. Perhaps you want to try this daily calendar ritual yourself, as your own reminder. It works for me. And look what it accomplished for Jerry Seinfeld.